Adoptions are like a pregnancy in that they involve buying a ton of really ADORABLE BABY STUFF! That's about it. Everything else between adoptions and pregnancy is SUPER DUPER DIFFERENT!
This journey has been the most difficult adventure we have ever embarked on but it has also been the most rewarding.
One thing we have found funny though has been the questions that people ask. Not a lot of people know we are adopting however those that do always ask the same things. I think I'll make a whole other post about that... this post I want to focus on my favorite question.
"Are you adopting a boy or a girl?"
I like this question because it is genuine and it doesn't insult us in any way. Most people really want to know. I believe social media has a lot to do with that question. Celebrities bring spotlight to adoptions and many of them choose the gender of the child. That is not how our adoption is.
When we first decided that adoption was the best way to form our family we never really sat down and chose a gender. Yes, I do admit, that we each had our preference... however that preference was not any different than if we would have decided to have a biological family. We are sure that up until the gender revealing ultrasound we would have each had our hopes set on a girl or a boy. (Due to the fact that we want our child to read this blog in the future and truly experience the journey with us I will not disclose what S and I hoped for...)
Before we were matched we had a ton of fun looking at baby items. The "wait" to be matched can be excruciating. Ours was less than a month from homestudy to match but it felt like YEARS. We had the opportunity to voice to our social worker what our desire was... and she told us "I wish you the best in getting the gender that you want, but in the end when that child finds you, it will not matter whether it is a she or a he." Oh boy was the amazing-most-wonderful-social-worker-of-all-time SO RIGHT. When we got our match and I answered that phone call the last thing on my mind was gender preference. When I called S to let him know, not once did he ask me what the gender of the baby was. That day we became parents... of a baby... our baby.
Yes... the match could fail... that truth is constantly in the back of my mind. I'm the worrier of the family. S on the other hand truly believes that this baby is ours. He KNOWS this baby is coming home. I applaud his strength and courage and I hold on to it. I feel like a mom. I feel that this child is mine... IF the match does not go through I will mourn the loss of this child because from the moment I got that call I became a mother.
So I bet you are dying to know whether our little tiny human will be wearing PINK....
Or BLUE...
Well, friends, that is a question I am not quite ready to answer just yet... I want to keep the excitement alive. Yes, we do know WHAT we are having... but I want to keep it a secret. I say that I want to keep it a secret because S is dying to SCREAM IT through the rooftops... So... if you really want to know... I'm sure it won't take much to get it out of him! ;)
Until next time...
A very EXCITED matched mommy to be.
J.
I will pray for you that everything goes according to plan. And I don't blame you for wanting to keep it a surprise...having the element of surprise is nice. That's why we kept our baby's name a secret until she arrived! People hated it, but it was nice to have something just between us.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you're blogging again! :)You made me tear up! I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers...what amazing parents you will be my friends. xoxo
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