Yesterday I received beautiful, sweet, news. The kind that make you think of baby pink and baby blue outfits. One of my bestest friends is pregnant with her first little miracle. I was soooo genuinely happy for her that I went on facebook and posted a generic (because I would never divulge her secret) message about receiving fabulous news. Automatically my status began to get filled by people asking me if I was pregnant. Oh there is nothing that upsets me more than when people ask me if I am pregnant.
I understand that I am a 20-something year old married woman. I say 20-something because once you pass 25 you probably don't want to tell people which number you are in... because then it's all about how close to 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 you are... but I digress. So back to me being in my 20s and married. Does that automatically mean that I HAVE to get pregnant? ::I'll sit here and wait for you, my imaginary friends, to answer this million dollar question.:: ~~~All I'm hearing is the jeopardy song over and over... why? because not even imaginary friends would TOUCH that question with a ten foot pole.
Let me answer that for you. NO. Just because I'm on the UPPER hill of my 20s does NOT mean I have to run and get pregnant. Did you hear me? Yes... I possibly yelled out loud as I typed those capital NOs. People that ask people WHEN they are going to get pregnant need to take a chill pill. Does the state of my womb concern you? Are we sharing a biological time clock? Does it ever occur to you that I have a REASON as to why I do not have children yet?
Just to make this full-disclosure, FUN, no holds-barred blog even fun"er" I will give you a few reasons as to why people don't have children in their 20s. Some of us wanted to go to school. I decided that I wanted a college education prior to acquiring an ol' ball and chain and a million dollar investment (that's what they say it costs to raise a child). My husband decided he wanted to acquire certifications in order to advance in his career. We also decided to purchase our own home. Make sane decisions for our future as individuals and as a team. Other people don't have children because of their economic status. Others don't have family support. Others need to work at their relationship BEFORE bringing another human being into the pot. Others simple CANNOT get pregnant... no matter how badly they want it.
People say it's never the right time to have a child, "you'll never be ready" and to that I say "you are right." Parenting does not come with a manual. It does not come with a jackpot to cover the expense. All of my amazing friends who are parents have had to "rough" it. They have had to struggle and I look up to them. I think they are fantastic for being able to handle it. Having said that... when you would rather be partying than feeding your child his 3 am bottle... then it's not the right time to have a child. When you would rather get a thousand dollar tattoo (you know who you are) rather than save for your child's college education then you are not ready to be a parent. When you own more purses than you could wear in a year (I know who I WAS) you are not ready to be a parent.
So why do I get so upset when people ask me when I'm going to start popping out little "mini-mes." Well because I have one of the above mentioned reasons to not be in the child-popping stage. Does it ever occur to you that I may NOT be able to get pregnant? Are you that insensitive that you don't think there could be consequences to your words? What if my husband and I are not financially stable? What if I just got a promotion and would not be able to take maternity-leave until after I have been in the position for over a year? What if we want to get more tattoos or buy more purses? What if we think we may not have any help when the time comes around? What if we don't think we are ready to be parents just yet? What if we need to work at our relationship just a bit more? What if we need to grow up before we begin to raise a HUMAN BEING?
Whatever our reason is... it is OURS. It is very personal. I will be the first person to blog, tweet, update my status, text you, call you or visit you to tell you the amazing news, but for right now take this long rant as my official statement. I am not pregnant. I probably won't be pregnant for another few YEARS. So while your kids are amazingly beautiful and I enjoy every little bit of gushing that you do about them I don't have any for a reason... so stop telling me that my time is "running out." When it comes down to it... there is only one ALMIGHTY person that can dictate when my time will be... and I can guarantee you that person is not YOU... or me... for that matter.
Ps. I hope this post does not offend anybody. It was not geared towards those of you who whole-heartedly asked me out of good intentions if I was indeed pregnant. This post is a rant about those people who keep "rushing" me to get'er done.